A letter to a friend I am yet to meet

To the friend I am yet to meet


Parenting in a fog!

Changing my relationship with alcohol over the past two years and being alcohol free for over a year, when I look back, I now see I was parenting in a fog. Alcohol quite simply was stopping me from being my best self and an engaged and present father for my kids.

My boys are my world and being the best dad I can be has always been a key value in life.

When I was drinking, I would have told you exactly the same thing and I genuinely believed it. I was however living a life where I was highly stressed, always worn out and grumpy. What’s more I could not see anything different on the horizon.

It was through a series of life events (a failed marriage, followed by divorce and the grief of loosing my own father) I became aware I had been using alcohol in an unhealthy way to numb the pain I was feeling in my heart.

I saw an ad for OYNB and read a few testimonials in which I identified with other people’s struggles. As I love a challenge, I signed up.

At that moment I actually opened the door to changing more than just my relationship with booze, it also made me a healthier, happier and more engaged dad.

By taking alcohol out of my life, within a short period of time I was sleeping better, no longer waking up in the night with palpitations with feelings of anxiety and stress. I felt refreshed and full of energy.

I became healthier and more active.

I had the energy to do more, playing football, cycling and rock climbing for example with the boys.

Along the way I learnt about mindfulness and positive psychology. I was no longer stressed and grumpy, on the contrary, I was calmer, happier, more focussed and present when we were together. As a direct result our relationships have flourished. Now we spend quality time together, full of fun, laughter and happiness.
By removing alcohol from my life, the fog has lifted and now I see every moment we spend together with perfect clarity!